Reefer

This episode of Nip/Tuck opens with Sean and Matt in a jewelry store buying a necklace for Annie for Christmas. Her and Conor are coming to Miami to spend the holidays with Sean, and he couldn’t be happier. While they are picking out the gift, his cell phone rings – it’s Julia telling him that Annie and Conor won’t be coming because Annie has strep. Sean is clearly upset, but he has Matt so he’s ok. But then Matt tells him that he and Kimber are going on a Scientology cruise and won’t be around for the holidays either. This sends him straight to the bar where he starts drinking by himself.

The next day on his way into the office, Sean passes a homeless man asking for collections on the street. He throws him a dollar, but then the homeless guy starts heckling him for more money. He tells Sean that his name is Reefer because he used to be a big surfer. Sean doesn’t buy it and continues into work where Christian and Michelle are decorating the McNamara/Troy Christmas tree. Sean invites them to spend Christmas with him, but they tell him they are going to St. Petersburg on a last minute holiday. Sean is, again, upset by this but doesn’t say anything. Christian tells him that Diana Lubey sent him a gift and it’s in his office. The gift is liquor, and Sean jumps right in and pours some of the Jack into his coffee mug.

Sean is in his office now, drinking, having a consultation with a woman who wants a g-spot amplification. She’s going through a divorce and wants to ensure that she takes care of herself, only herself, and she wants more orgasms. Sean feels what she is saying – a mutual divorce bond if you will. Sean tells her the procedure should only take 20 minutes, and they head straight into the operating room. As he is feeling around for the right spot, she tells him he should throw away his old brown Brooks Brothers suits and upgrade his image. Voila, he finds the spot, she orgasms, and he injects her with something that is supposed to amplify this spot making it easier for her to find next time.

Christian is in his office, and a man named Wendell Sutherland enters – James Sutherland’s son. Wendell notifies Christian that both his parents died the week before in a car crash on the way back from church. Nothing happened to Wilbur, though, but now he needs a home. Wendell tells Christian that James named Christian Wilbur’s legal guardian in his will. Christian is, of course, confused as to why Wilbur’s brothers weren’t named the guardians. Wendell tells Christian that when James brought him home, there was tension in the family caused by Wilbur’s presence…and neither of them wanted or could take him on. Christian wasn’t sure he could either, but wanted to know what would happen to him if he didn’t take him. Wendell told him that Wilbur would be sent to a Foster home found by the church.

The next day, Sean walks into work sporting a Gucci suit and sees Reefer. Sean hands him a $5 bill today, but Reefer continues to heckle him, wondering what he is going to do with his old suits. Sean says no, and they begin to argue over who could possibly be the better person – the rich man or the poor man. It’s an interesting vision of moral discussion that, personally, I could do without.

Christian now has to break the news of Wilbur to Michelle. She is not keen on the idea at all. She doesn’t want him, especially since he isn’t her child. She doesn’t want to take care of anyone right now. Michelle wants to know if Christian had to make a choice, who would he choose – her or Wilbur? Christian, of course, doesn’t want to make a choice. He equates the situation to what Michelle wanted regarding their engagement – try it out. Once she met Wilbur and lived with him for a while, if she didn’t like having him there, then they could talk. As they are discussing this a nurse comes in the room telling them there is a problem.
The problem is that Escobar Gallardo sent McNamara/Troy a holiday ham. They immediately call the FBI who come and are perplexed as to why Escobar would send a ham. Of course, everyone there knows why, but they can’t tell the FBI. The FBI tells them they are going to set up 24-hour surveillance around the offices to monitor the situation.

This news thrills Michelle who walks straight into James’ recovery room and tells her that she has to get out and cannot continue doing the in-office operations after hours. She tells James that unless she wants to be caught by the FBI, she has to get out. It’s never that easy, though.

Cut to the operating room where Sean is performing surgery on a Santa Claus with severely burned feet. Turns out it is one of Poppy’s best friends (Liz’s girlfriend), and he was trying to go down his ex-wife’s chimney for Christmas but she left the yule log on. Poppy asks Sean if he would stand in as Santa at the mall. Initially Sean balked at the idea. Christian then comes in, thrilled, and tells Sean about Wilbur. After seeing Christian’s joy, Sean agrees to be Santa Claus.

Later that day, the woman who wanted the g-spot amplification is back in Sean’s office with a major problem – everything is making her orgasm. She can’t take it anymore and wants the procedure reversed. Sean is drunk, again, only this time she figures it out. Christian comes in the room, offers to reverse the surgery and give her free botox for her troubles. When she leaves the room, he goes over to Sean’s cup, takes a whiff, and realizes what’s going on. Sean lashes out – accuses Christian of not caring about him anymore now that he has his own beautiful family…just like the one he used to have.

Christian leaves and heads home to wait for Wilbur. In comes Wendell holding Wilbur who is much bigger and older than Christian remembers. He stutters over a hello, and Wilbur runs into his arms, calls him daddy, and Christian begins to cry he is so happy.

Sean is now at the mall playing Santa Claus. Poppy, Liz, and a little person are all elves. Poppy sends the little person into the “workshop” to tell Sean his break is over and he has to get back to being Santa. Sean is naturally plastered, and starts flirting with the elf. Once Sean gets outside, he is the worst Santa in the world and scares all the little children. Poppy finally sends him back into the break room and goes to get him a latte. Christian and Wilbur have come to the mall to see Uncle Sean as Santa, bumps into Poppy and Liz, and they all head back to Santa headquarters to find Sean. Well, they find Sean alright, but he is getting a blow job from the little person elf in the workshop.

Sean takes his bottle of Jack and heads to the beach, drinking straight out of the paper bag. Reefer comes up and tells Sean he doesn’t belong there. Sean is at the bottom of the barrel – he wants to be where Reefer is. He has nothing to live for and doesn’t care. Reefer tells him that there is no need for that – he has a chance to help himself and he should – he doesn’t want to be like him. Sean notices a cut on Reefer’s face. Reefer tells him he got into a bum fight trying to steal some money so he could buy his daughter, who is in foster care, a Christmas gift. Sean takes him back to his offices to sew up the cut. He lets Reefer stay in the recovery room for the night – offers him some clean clothes, a shower, and invites him over the next night for Christmas dinner. We can see that Sean now sees how much alike the two men are despite the dichotomy in their financial status.

Christian and Wilbur are back at the apartment decorating the Christmas tree. Michelle walks in and gets a huge smile on her face. She introduces herself to Wilbur, and the three of them proceed to decorate the tree.

James is lingering around the McNamara/Troy offices and her cell phone rings. It’s the Asian guy who speaks French. He tells her that she has to deliver a kidney by midnight, or she would be killed. Just at this moment, Sean comes out from the back and scares her – she didn’t know he was there. He tells her about Reefer in the back. She goes into the back room with some wine, offers him a glass, drugs him, and the next thing we know he is passing out in his bed.

Back at Christian and Michelle’s place, Michelle wants to know why Christian never told her Wilbur was black. He says it wasn’t important so he didn’t think about it. Michelle’s cell phone rings – she doesn’t say who it is, but tells Christian that a pipe blew at one of Burt’s plants and she had to go. Of course, we know it’s James and Michelle heads over to the McNamara/Troy offices to find Reefer with his entire stomach opened and every one of his organs gone. James figured he was worth nothing as a human, so she took all his organs – except his liver. James tells Michelle she will help her dispose of the body. They cut his body up and throw him into Santa present sacks. James dresses up like a Santa and they leave the building – remember, they need to get the body by the FBI agents. The agents let the ladies go, but it’s obvious they are suspicious of their behavior and the contents of the sacks.
Christian and Wilbur head over to Uncle Sean’s to say hello and spend Christmas.